Gun Control – Idiots and Cell Phones … I got that a little backwards but I got the gist of it.

Well, I should shut up and let this one roll, but no…

Let me take this in parts:

Gun Control: The two people primary to this blog, the writer and the reader, both know me. You both know, and everyone who knows me knows, that for many years I lived outside of the law. A drunk. Mean. Stupid. Criminal and all that means. You both love me but you also know that I have done stupid things. I think it’s fair to say that you do not and never have approved of those things. No one that truly loves me, has loved me, has approved ever of the things I did… You love me in spite of those things. And I am grateful for that. If not for love I would be nothing. Why does that give me a right to weigh in on this? Because I was a convicted felon and I was able to go to a gun show and buy weapons. That is completely crazy. And because of that I changed many lives, not for the good. Gun control has to be, but I don’t pretend to know how to implement it completely, but first I would say close the loopholes that allowed me to buy a gun. The same loopholes that allow other felons to do the same thing. Internet sources can be found to buy weapons. And some states have inconsistent laws. If you want a hand gun you can get one. So, yes, Gun control is necessary, but Gun control is not all of the answer. Gun control is just what it’s being thrown at right now because children were murdered, and that will make the public about as  emotional as they can be made.

First thing to do: Make the laws consistent. Start there.


  What! Yes, I said that. I have been in trouble with the law. I have been in prison. I can tell you that, yes, there are authorities who abuse power but the overwhelming majority of them do not. They see things. They know things, yet they can not always act because of laws that actually protect criminals. Change that. Don’t play politics, change it.

Third thing to do: Federal Programs to educate offenders. If someone does have that propensity towards violence don’t just pat them on the wrist. You see many States do not just let their worst offenders walk away anymore, they make them program. Programing uncovers data. Data can show things that might not otherwise be shown. Like, we need to keep this guy in jail. Look at the suspect for this last killing! They knew he had problems but no one was able to do damn thing about it. Why? Because laws are inconsistent. They need to be federalized. Consistent. Then you will see changes. You will see changes because people will interact in these programs and that will expose things that might otherwise be hidden. But, then, you have to give some teeth to the people running the program to lock these people up if they need to be. Hey, there are many steps in that process. It’s overseen by a court system, if someone has been mistakenly locked up it can be ferreted out. I’m talking about using existing Mental health laws. That is why they are there. But we’ve become so protective of rights in this society that we are sometimes reluctant to do what should be done. My argument comes right back to consistency. Be consistent.

Idiots: Well, there are so many idiots in the world that sometimes I wonder where in Hell all the smart people got to. Are there people that need to be told not to set a hot cup of coffee on their lap? Well, I’ll say this: The other night I set a full cup of coffee on the dashboard. A full, hot, open ceramic mug of coffee. If the driver had not said something to me that coffee would have ended up in my lap. Am I stupid? Probably. Listen, we are all idiots sometimes. All of us. Sometimes we need a sign.

Cell Phones: If you know me you know I hate Cell phones. Let me rephrase that… Cell phones suck… No… No… What I really meant is CELL PHONES SUCK! Okay. Cell phones are an absolute. I know a handful of people and yet I still need one myself. I believe if I was shipwrecked I would still be required to have one. This is just the way our society works now. A necessary evil. Should you talk and drive? No. But, as Joe said you shouldn’t eat a big Mac or slip your girl a kiss either. Drive the damn car/truck/motorcycle/scooter and pay attention. Meanwhile if you send me your cell phone I have a hammer and I’ll gladly bash it for you… Is that anti Social behavior? … Hmmmmm

Posted by Dell

This is dangerous for me. I hide in my humor most of the time and I can rarely be drawn into a serious conversation. I am like that for the same reason that most of us are like that, conditioning.

    Let me say a few things first so you don’t read this thinking I’m going to bash God, the church, humanity, Jesus, and maybe you’ll be disappointed at the end because although I’m going to toss a few stones for the most part I’m going to be aiming for the knees, not the body. If you don’t understand that analogy we’re lost already, but I think you do.

    It is the organization of religion I have an issue with. I have varied beliefs, I’ll go there in a second, but I guess I want to set my ground rules. It is the organization. It is certain people who push that organization. That is were I’m going. Not everyone. Not the Catholic church, although I have more than a few issues there, but the controllers. The ones who believe it has to be their way. They come first. They do not care about your opinion at all because theirs is the only one that matters. Have I defined it well?

   Whenever a man or a woman takes it upon themselves to interpret a holy book in a new way, different way, there will be controversy. Whenever a minister, or group of congregants decide what is good for you and me there will be more than controversy. Historically there has been Death, Murder, governments have been overthrown, millions have died fighting for nothing more than their right to express who they are. That’s all. They don’t want to sleep with your daughters, steal your cars, rob your houses, they only want the right to be exactly who they and their Gods, God, Creator tells them to be.

  Don’t think murder doesn’t happen today. Go to Israel and talk about Christianity in the wrong place and you could be dead before you are done talking. Be a young Muslim woman and want to drive, or go without a veil, or have the unfortunate circumstance of being raped. Then your family puts you to death. Makes me want to scream.

  In this country it’s sometimes subtle, sometimes not. Look at abortion clinics. Do you realize that people want to take the choice away from the mother? If it’s not her choice, whose choice is it? And that is the very base of my problem with religion in this country, there is no place for you to be you.

    I believe this way. Hang on, it’s complicated: I believe in God. I believe Jesus died for my sins. I also believe in spirit guides. I kind of have to since I’ve had one since about age 13 or so and she doesn’t appear to be going anywhere soon. She’s gone through 55 years with me. I’d say that’s a better track record than the people in my life, does that make her more real and them unreal? I could make an argument there I’m sure. Theologically does that mark her existence as something greater than anyone else I know? And doesn’t that lift her up to some sort of Mythical position in and over my life? Hmm.

   Totems. I have two. Bear and wolf. They have been there always. I do not remember a time when I did not think about those two, Picture them as they watched over me, walked with me, helped me, set my true nature. So, in my mind, I could take those three and and have a holy trinity. If we are talking strictly belief, then I am there. Unless I am crazy and there are spirits in my head (We’ll revisit that) then they are the most real, fundamental carriers of all of my faith and belief. In that scenario Jesus was a late comer for me, not showing up and being believed in until my early twenties. Does that make him a lesser God?

    I am not trying to be provocative, I am only trying to get you to think. The things you say and do are truly what make you who you are. Your beliefs make you the man or woman who can stand or who will fall when your shortcomings are exposed. When you find you were only pretending and you do not believe in a thing except yourself, and death. I am not you, but i did not get to be me without a great deal of pain. And, no, it wasn’t only my own pain. If I say people hurt each other, it is because I know it. I know it because I have hurt people that I love. People that I have loved have hurt me. We all learn that way. The problem is, most people reject that. They don’t want to hear it. They pretend they didn’t do it, see it, taste it, say it, hear it, believe in it, but they did, they did and it could have changed their lives but they didn’t allow it, it was too easy to, lie. To pretend everything is fine. Jesus is helping, the world is great. Bull crap.

  The world is not fine. Jesus is not helping. He isn’t supposed to do that. It’s not his job. Read the Bible. READ IT! Don’t just go by what you’re told. He came to die for you, me, everyone to make a sacrifice that would be sufficient for God. He did that. What does the Bible say next about him? It says a lot. It says he will divide families, set brother against brother. It says he will be vengeful. Jealous. It says be honest about him because he his keeping track. It says all that you have to do is believe and he will forgive. It doesn’t say to say five Hail Mary’s. It doesn’t say much of anything about religion except the Christ himself hated it and those who ran it. Do you suppose that he would love these posers we have today? I don’t suppose he would. But you will never tell them that as they Judge, convict and kill all in the name of one God or another.

    I knew a man. A good man. His name was David Larkin. He was my pastor and he was honest. He did not dress things up for the masses, he said what it was. He said what the book said. He got pushed out of the church he founded because he would not bend enough. Modern religion is adaptive. God is not adaptive. God is the same always. Modern religion says the times have changed and so must we. God never said that in any religion I have ever read about, Christianity, Buddhism, Pagan, traditional Native American. In fact they warn against it. They constantly remind that the people have gone astray. Yet there are men and women who try to run others lives. They are no better than you or me, not at all, but they will try to convince you that they are. Why? Because that puts them above you. And, if you endorse it it puts them above you with your permission. A very bad thing,because that means you will start to accept what they say without question. God, Jesus, Buddha, Paganism, Native American traditions says question your leaders to find them to be true or corrupt. Paraphrased, but the essence. So why don’t we?

The things you believe in: If, like me, you have totems, spirit guides, or you just believe in some other non mainstream way or idea, then you must be careful. More than once I have been honest about my beliefs only to have someone in a position of, or assumed position of authority try to tell me that I must be listening to evil spirits. Maybe, they would continue, that is why I had so much trouble come my way. Bull. It’s a easy out. It implies we as people are not evil, it’s spirits. No. I have spent ten years in some of the worst prisons New York has to offer and I can tell you there are evil people. Their evilness has nothing to do with spirits it has to do with their unwillingness to accept other people and their ideas. What do you know! Nearly the same stance their accusers have taken with them.

     We don’t because it is easy to sit back and let someone else drive. We don’t because we want to believe it’s true. We want to be special, it’s good to be the boss, to hell with the truth, I’m riding shotgun anyway. In the end I can say, well, Susie told me that was the way it was! Or Bob, Or The woman beguiled me, or the Serpent told me so. We are not so different. We make the same mistakes that are common to men and women.

    I hope I provoked you. Be yourself. Feel who you are. Read, don’t be a dumb sheep. Ask questions of people you trust and then check those facts, Maybe you can teach them. But, whatever you do, don’t just hate, believe, act,l because everyone else is doing it, or because your religious leaders say to. Every holy man down through history had been apart from the religious leaders of their day. They walked their own way and remained true to their god… Dell…

Posted by Dell @ 1:03 A. M.

I thought about entitling this what the Hell is wrong with me but I don’t like to get too dramatic. Even so, there is something wrong with me. I just don’t seem to see things the same way as other people do. For instance, just before I sat down to write this I turned the channel to a movie channel to listen to movies while I work. Pathetic, I know, but I do it every night. The T.V. Is behind me so I have to turn to see it. So, I don’t. I just listen. But, sometimes it’s so good that I do turn to watch for a second and I’m usually disappointed. Well, tonight I turned the channel and there was a sports show just ending, and one of the commentators turned to the screen and Said “We want to thank you for tuning in.”

“Really,” I asked?

He didn’t say anything. I guess we would all be surprised if he did. But, I continued… “I didn’t tune in. I hate your show! I wouldn’t watch it if you paid me.” He did seem to flinch a little at that but the T.V. Went to commercial with no further incident… Not that there could have been one. I’m just saying…

Anyway, my point is, I do not like sports the way other men do. Several times in my life other men have stopped and looked at me like…. “Whoaaa, what’s up with this dude.” or “Did you play with dolls when you were a kid?” I learned early in my life that it is unmanly to say you do not like sports, or hint it, or not know the answer to a sports question. It’s just not allowed. Since I was young I had to go along with it, even so I couldn’t always keep up the facade. Occasionally someone would trip me up…

“So, what did you think of Babe Ruth?”

“Oh… Babe Ruth… It’s a damn good candy bar,” I answered.

He looked at me funny and I knew I screwed something up, but, eventually he laughed, I went home and asked my little Brother who Babe Ruth was, a hockey player? (My brother is a Hockey fanatic) “Sure… Sure… A hockey player,” my little brother tells me. That was payback for all the mean things I had done to him.

As I got older I’d pick a little and ask guys why they didn’t just give both teams a ball and send them home, I mean, wasn’t the point to get the ball? And didn’t they seem to take an awful long time to get it? And wouldn’t it be easier to just give them a frigging ball of their own? Wouldn’t it. That didn’t win me any points, and then, in ninth grade, I decided to not major in smoking behind the school that year and I took Home Economics instead.

My life as a social outcast was short lived though. I got kicked out of Home economics and went back to majoring in smoking behind the school. Then, voila, it hit me. Maybe not liking sports was… was… I couldn’t make the connection though. I had probably burned out too many brain cells smoking joints behind the school instead of cigarettes. Too bad, if I could have only made the connection I may have been able to see that real men need sports in their lives as much as they need to fart and burp… (Some men, not all men.). And sports lends a well rounded social adaptation you just can’t get any other way. I remember so many times at work some guy would say… “So, what do you think about those Dodgers?” And I would say, “Oh… Well they ought to go to jail…(Then, because it’s manly to swear and cuss), Frigging A! They ought to, those bastards!” Another potential social connection missed. Another opportunity to be a success in society missed.

At an early age I did decide to make a concession. I decided that I would watch Stock Car Racing. That was a sport. That would be my sport! It would solve everything. But no. Footballers, Baseballers, All those other ballers (It’s all games where you play with balls, right? … I’m just saying…) they don’t all believe that stock car racing is a real sport… What? So, I had managed to like the one sport that wasn’t really a sport. What was wrong with me? I just didn’t know.

As I grew up and went to prison I realized that I had to be honest with myself about my shortcomings when it came to sports if I ever hoped to break the cycle and stop going back to prison. My whole life was in ruin. Virtual ruin. So I sat down and examined it and realized that I was uncomfortable with the games. I paid attention, I took notes, and I realized that I had some prejudices and hangups concerning the way the game was played. And, I plain didn’t understand the rules. So I took a closer look at them. And wrote down the ones that really confused me:

#1. Did you pat the other guy on the Ass after he made a basket/home run/touchdown or before?

#2. Did you grab your junk whenever you wanted to or only when people were watching?

#3. Did you cry only in a strong emotional circumstance like your coach retiring, or could you cry if you just had a bad day, or the dog crapped on your new carpet?

#4. If you patted a guy on the Ass more than once did it mean you had to buy him dinner?

I learned these are not questions you ask other men in prison.

After I got out of the infirmary, I tried to figure these questions out on my own after watching my sport for awhile, but I only became more confused.

In NASCAR, nobody pats anyone on the Ass. At least not in public (Tony Stewart excepted but he’s nuts anyway). I’ve seen dozens of finishes and never once have I seen the other drivers run up and pat the winner on the Ass. Not Once. There are no balls to play with. None. The drivers never grab their junk in front of the cameras, and if anyone cries, why one of the other drivers will just beat him up! Even the women drivers don’t cry, and, I’m pretty sure they don’t play with dolls either.

After much thought I decided these things:

#1. I’m not patting any guy on the Ass whether it’s a game or not, and if one pats me on the Ass there’s going to be trouble.

#2. I will only grab my junk when no one’s watching.

#3. If I feel an urge to cry I will remind myself that it could be worse. I could be a footballer and some sweaty, three hundred pound guy could be patting me on the Ass all of the time…

Posted by Dell

Tech support:

                so I’m at the dollar store with Mom a few months back at she spies these pink cell phones and decides to buy one to support Breast Cancer and it’s a good cause and it says it’ll be so easy to move your number, set it up. A snap, plus it comes with two Cadillacs full of minuets and a camera, and, well, it’s pink. So she buys it. I was for it because basic I am a cheap kind of guy and I would end up with her old phone which is perfectly fine it’s just old. It’s been perfect for four years. No problems. Just ate minuets and pooped data, or phone calls. Bad analogy there but you get the idea. So, great phone, just old and a new one beckoned. I would bet there are people reading this who have almost gotten into relationship problems using that same reasoning.  Funny the double standards we have, eh?

    So, she buys the phone, we go home and I go to work on the computer because other than going to church once a week and chasing Horny Tom Cat’s away from my Fred cat that’s about all I do. So I typed away for a few minuets but I kept hearing these sighs, and mutterings, so finally I said… “Uh, Mom… Everything okay?”

    Lets set the record straight I knew everything was not okay but I was hoping for an answer like “I’m taking this $#@%^ phone back it’s junk!” Yes. I was actually hoping for that answer. Instead I got … “I can’t figure it out. I’m doing exactly what it says…”

    “Okay,” I soothed. I am a man. I know how to fix these things and most of the time I don’t even have to read the Manuel. I didn’t say that. I have learned not to say it because it just turns out to be that one time when I can’t do it and I look stupid. So I took the phone and spent the next hour doing all the same things Mom had and getting nowhere.

    “$#@**%# Phone,” I said.

    “I told you,” Mom agreed. “There’s a number to call.” She held up a piece of paper and I couldn’t help wondering why she hadn’t given me the piece of paper earlier when I could have possibly used it. But then I reminded myself that I never would have used it anyway.

    “Hmmm.” I frowned and looked over the number. “So. You have a phone that doesn’t work and they give you a tech number to call.”

    “Well you have the other one.”

    “Yes. But what if I didn’t?”

    Mom shrugged and I realized the stupidity of my own question, still, didn’t it sort of make sense? Isn’t it sort of like offering a drunk a drink while he waits? I don’t know. Reluctantly I punched the number into the other cell phone, pretty much jambed the end of the cell phone halfway into my brain and waited.

    I touched on this the other day. I had never had to call tech support in the last ten years. There is no Tech support in prison…



    “Tech support?”

    “No. There is no tech support in prison. Stop calling here you moron.”

    “But I’m in prison!”

    Dial tone…

    The phone stopped burring and an Voice came on the line. Computer voice. Push one for billing issues, two if you’ve had an affair with a politician, three for technical support. I pushed three but I didn’t push it fast enough because the whole thing played again. I ended up having to call back and immediately press three.

    Now, let me say this delicately, why would you get a job in tech support in America if English is not your first language? And, why would a major company hire you. After thirty seconds of trying to understand the woman I gave the phone to Mom hoping the kindred spirit thing would kick in but no, she couldn’t understand her either. She gave me back the phone. Apparently womaneez doesn’t cross the language barriers easily.

    It must have been about two hours later and the third string of numbers the woman had given me before the phone finally began to work.

    “You are being happy with your experiences?” The tech asked me.

    “Are you serious,” I asked?

    “Yes. Of Course. Serious is what I am being.”

     “Oh God,” I said aloud. “Have you ever heard this?”

    “Yes? I am Listening.” She obviously thought we had bonded.

     I hung up. Mean, I know.

    Two days later there was a recall on Mom’s Coffee Maker. I called tech support.

   “Yes? I am being happy to be taking your call.”

    “Never mind I’ll buy a new one.” I said

    A week later my new laptop croaked. I called customer service.

     “Yes? I can be helping you?”

     “What? Do you work for the Coffee maker place?”

    “No. That is my sister, Sari.”

    Tech support…..

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